Secret Theater

[Cerberus_0408]

For those funny fans out there, Hideo Kojima obviously has a sense of humour. No pun intended.

Watch and laugh, boys.



For the sake of space, I won't post the other videos. Search secret theater on youtube and you'll find a whole lot of other stupid parodies that are really hilarious alternate endings to certain cutscenes in the game.

[A.G.]

lol yeah, that one is my favorite out of the set!!!

[The Mad Jackyl]

Hhahaha, WHAT??? I can't believe I've never seen this..

[Cerberus_0408]

I hate to say this Mad Jackyl, but you're such a f...cking idiot if you're an MG fan and don't already know this exists.

Secret Theatre is an unlockable feature that showcases humorous alternate endings to certain cutscenes. It was originally shown on the Metal Gear Solid 3 website, and is available in full on Persistence, the second disc of Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence, upon completing the main game on disc 1. It may also be unlocked by answering "I like MGS3!" to the first-time questionnaire.

Some of the japanese Secret Theatre videos featured new voice work by the original cast (or, where specified at the end of the video, newly dubbed lines not recorded by the original cast). On the website, the videos were shown with the Japanese voices and the dialogue subtitle in English. For the bonus disc of the English version of Subsistence, most of the new dialogue was replaced with either previously recorded lines from the game or nonverbal grunts, so the videos are entirely in English.

Contents [hide]
1 Synopsis
2 Summaries
2.1 The Beginning is the End
2.2 Gotcha This Time!
2.3 Get Down!
2.4 Payback
2.5 Cat-like Behavior
2.6 The Quick Version
2.7 The Joy
2.8 I Read Them For The Articles
2.9 Metal Gear S...
2.10 Die Hard
2.11 The Ultimate Weapon
2.12 Made In the USA
2.13 Basashi
2.14 Close Call
2.15 He's Still Got It
2.16 Metal Gear Raiden: Snake Eraser
2.17 MGS4 TGS 2005 Teaser Trailer
3 Behind the Scenes

[edit] SynopsisThe Beginning is the End Snake causes a Time Paradox by not surviving the first cutscene.
Gotcha This Time! This is how not to handle C3.
Get Down! Sokolov relives Snake getting saved by Eva in the factory.
Payback Nobody refuses to shake hands with the DCI. Nobody.
Cat-like Behavior Ocelot calls Snake's bluff.
The Quick Version The fight inside the WIG goes faster than expected.
The Joy The Boss also went by the codename The Joy...
I Read Them For the Articles Snake busts Sokolov trying to hide his magazines.
Metal Gear S... Sigint joins Snake on Operation Snake Eater and ends up upstaging him.
Die Hard "It's not over yet!"
The Ultimate Weapon Snake can't seem to beat the Boss at a game of Rock, Paper and Scissors...
Made in the USA EVA shows Snake one feature of his gun that he did not know about.
Basashi Snake finally gets a chance to taste horsemeat.
Close Call Snake has a near-fatal accident with the Shagohod.
He's Still Got It The End falls in love with EVA.
Metal Gear Raiden: Snake Eraser Raiden goes back in time to kill Big Boss so he can replace Solid Snake as the main character of MGS4. Along the way Raiden causes a series of Time Paradoxes.
MGS4 Trailer TGS 2005 Raiden and Solid Snake vie for the position of "Main Character" of MGS4.




[edit] Summaries[edit] The Beginning is the EndDuring his insertion jump for operation Virtuous Mission, Snake releases his parachute a little too late and falls down the cliff. Colonel Campbell then informs Snake that he has caused a Time Paradox.

[edit] Gotcha This Time!Before Snake plants the butterfly C3 bomb on the fuel-tank of the Shagohod, Snake tosses it up and catches it, quipping "Gotcha this time!" and sticks it to the fuel-tank. Unfortunately, he slams it a little too hard, causing the timer to reset to 0 and detonate the other charges and destroying the hangar.

[edit] Get Down!A renactment of EVA saving Snake from enemy soldiers, only the soldiers are replaced with members of LBJ's cabinet and Snake and EVA are replaced by Sokolov and a Sokolov in drag, respectively.

[edit] PaybackSnake is sneaking Dremuchij until the Director of the CIA appears and Snake asks why is he here. The scene then switches to a flashback of Snake refusing to shake the Director's hand which angers him. The scene then switches back to Snake who tries to attack the Director only to be placed into submission by him. The Director holds out his hand for Snake to shake, until he eventually does so. At this point, cameramen begin taking photos of Snake and the Director shaking hands and the scene switches to Snake the Director in Rokovoj Bereg. Snake and the Director begin to dance together and the Director kisses Snake on both cheeks. Major Zero, Para-Medic and Granin are seen in the background applauding them both. The "Metal Gear Solid" title graphic then appears on the screen, only it's been altered to say "Metal Gear Stupid".

The last scene is a nearly-naked Raiden holding an AK-47 and futilely running from the Shagohod as it runs him over.

[edit] Cat-like BehaviorSnake taunts Ocelot for using a decorative revolver, saying that he can't shoot him. Ocelot takes his gun off of EVA and shoots him. Ocelot then muses that he never lets his prey escape until EVA rides out of the area on her motorcycle. Realizing his embarrassing mistake, Ocelot screams "Bitch!" three times, accidentally fires his gun, and screams one last time as the screen fades out.

[edit] The Quick VersionOcelot speeds up to the WIG on a hovering platform in an effort to have one last showdown with Snake. When he attempts to jump into the craft, he instead hits the other door and tumbles outside into the water. As the screen blacks out, Snake gives a sigh of disappointment.

[edit] The JoyIn the scene where Sokolov is abducted by the Cobra Unit, The Pain's hornets swarm around The Boss instead of Sokolov. The Boss throws herself from the bridge and activates her microbomb, screaming "The Joy!" as it explodes. Snake, Sokolov, and Volgin stare down blankly; Snake salutes The Boss while Volgin wonders "What is she after?"

[edit] I Read Them For The ArticlesIn renacting Snake's first meeting with Sokolov, Snake finds Sokolov trying to hide dirty magazines inside an unlit fire stove. Sensing something suspicious, Snake tranquilizes Sokolov and helps himself to Sokolov's magazines. Sokolov then wakes up as the scene suddenly fades to black. When the scene comes back, Snake and Sokolov are both enjoying a magazine together. Shortly after, the door to the room closes, and the ending for "Snake Eater" plays.

[edit] Metal Gear S...After Snake makes a successful air-drop insertion, Major Zero suddenly informs him that he will be joined up with another operative, who turns out to be Sigint. Throughout the movie, Sigint handles most situations coolly and collected, while Snake always gets the worst of every situation, from being swarmed by hornets to falling down with the Shagohod after the bridge is destroyed. Sigint even steals EVA away from Snake as Snake is left alone with the Boss's corpse in the flowerfield to be bombed by MIGs. The eventual result is a huge Time Paradox as with Snake's final line "You've got to be kidding me!", the title card has been changed to "Metal Gear Sigint".

[edit] Die HardAs the Shagohod chases EVA and Snake on bike, Volgin tries to ram through a parked MIG vehicle, but instead, ends up flipping over the plane and doing several aerodynamic rolls down the runway. EVA and Snake park their bike just in time to see an enraged Volgin fly out of the tank and straight toward them screaming "I'm not finished yet!" when suddenly, Ocelot drives up behind him and mistakenly launches him into stratosphere. After the scene fades to black, EVA can be heard saying "Give it up already."

[edit] The Ultimate WeaponAs Snake watches several choppers transport the Shagohod, The Boss challenges him to an imprompt game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. After Snake fails to beat The Boss using all three options, Snake does a combined version of all the options. Embarrassed and humiliated, The Boss flys down low to Snake, pointing a Davy Crocket launcher right in his face. Despite Ocelot's and Snake's protests, The Boss pulls the trigger and ends a good deal of the game's cast as Major Zero desperately tries to contact Snake.

[edit] Made In the USAWhen Snake receives his gun from EVA, he excitedly gushes all over its details. When he squeezes the trigger however, he is dismayed to find out that it is only a novelty cigar lighter as EVA lights one up using its flame.

[edit] BasashiWhen Snake finds the Boss's horse in a small clearing, Para-Medic appears and accuses Snake of wanting to eat it. It is only after this that Snake actually wants to eat the horse. Behind Snake, The Boss is shown to be extremely furious steam literally pouring off her head as she speeds away making comical train noises. Meanwhile, Para-Medic continues to lecture Snake while enemy reinforcements surround the both of them. Both are completely unaware as they continue to banter even when the screen fades out.

[edit] Close CallWhen Snake jumps from the sidecar to engage the Shagohod, he jumps too late and gets caught in the tank's corkscrew treads. After being smashed into the ground repeatedly, he is tossed up into the air, stripped of his camo. After he lands, the Shagohod can be seen in the background chasing a screaming EVA. As the scene fades to black, Major Zero can be heard saying "That was a close call."

[edit] He's Still Got ItBack in Ponizovje, Colonel Volgin orders EVA to come with him to his room. As EVA walks past The End, he quickly steals a glimpse of her walking him and is revived. End thanks EVA for "waking him" and gets out of his wheelchair and begins stalking after her throughout Groznyj Grad, protecting her from Ocelot's intimidation tactics by putting a dart in his neck. Later, EVA meets up with Snake underneath the waterfall and is enraged by Snake's advances. At the end of the game, The End expresses his disappointment in EVA while hiding in the tigerskin rug and waits for EVA outside the mansion on the morning after. While aiming at EVA in the middle of the road, End gets caught up in his monologue and is hit by EVA's motorcycle. As The End flies through the air slowly dying, he announces that he has no regrets and detonates his microbomb.

[edit] Metal Gear Raiden: Snake EraserAfter the events of the first teaser trailer, Raiden reflects on Rosemary's final words about changing the future. Raiden interprets this as an opportunity to change the events of Snake Eater so he can get the "Main Character" role in MGS4.

Time-traveling back to the beginning of Operation Snake Eater, Raiden narrates his intention to assassinate Big Boss, thus eliminating Solid Snake from the Metal Gear timeline. When he arrives at the drop-point however, Naked Snake touches down and unintentionally kicking Raiden in the face. As he lies defeated on the ground, Colonel Campbell tells him he has created a time paradox. Raiden jumps ahead in the timeline to EVA's escape from Ocelot. As Raiden gets to his feet, he arrives just in time to be rear-ended by EVA on her motorcycle, throwing forward and on top of Ocelot and putting into a forced liplock with him. Campbell announces that Raiden has created another time paradox and Raiden jumps in the timeline to Snake's holding cell. However, Snake just makes his escape while Raiden is locked behind bars. Colonel Volgin suddenly appears mistaking him for Raikov, grabbing his crotch and molesting him. Disgusted and terrified, Raiden escapes from the cell having created another time paradox. Raiden then finds him in the flowerfield where Snake and the Boss are about to fight to the death. Raiden stumbles on to the Boss just in time to stare at her cleavage when she was trying to show Snake her large birthscar. A disgusted Boss slaps Raiden as Snake stares, jaw agape. Raiden jumps through the timeline, this time backwards, inside the oil drum where Granin's corpse is resting as Volgin hammers it with his fists. Raiden is terrified as the drum is sent flying through the air, forcing him out. After Raiden lands with the drum over him, Raiden jumps through the timeline again, right in between Volgin and Snake disguised as Raikov. Raiden appears just in time to receive the royal beatdown intended for Snake. Afterwards, Raiden is teleported to the runway chase right in the middle of the Shagohod's path. Snake fires an RPG in front of the tank, causing it to spin out and barely sideswipe Raiden. Snake asks Raiden if he is alright and gives him an SAA for his own protection. Raiden takes aim at Snake, but slowly lowers it as he reflects on Big Boss's act of rescue. As he reflects, pursuing foot soldiers push him down and trample him while running after Snake and EVA. The Shagohod also runs over Raiden, catching him on its treads and slamming him into the ground repeatedly.

Back in Washington D.C., Raiden is seen applauding at Snake's award ceremony while narrating that the mission to kill Big Boss was a failure. However, he still has a plan to kill Solid Snake.

In the final area of Zanzibar Land where Solid Snake fights Big Boss, Raiden appears and chases after Snake, only to be shot down by Big Boss. In a brief conversation, Big Boss orders Raiden not to interfere while Raiden expresses his regret for not killing Big Boss when he had the chance and teleports back to the present.

Back in the present, Rose tells Jack that he can't change the past, but he can "take the future into his own hands." Raiden starts to persist about Snake being the main character until Rose half assures and half-inquires as to whether there will be a Metal Gear Solid 5.

[edit] MGS4 TGS 2005 Teaser TrailerSnake is first shown hiding behind a wall from a group of soldiers in a firefight. Suddenly, a plane bombs out the wall, leading to his discovery as the wall comes down. A series of taglines, canned laughter and sound effects can be heard as the troops give chase. Snake then comes to a clearing of twelve director's chairs, which are quickly occupied by the soldiers. Desperate for a chair of his own, Snake flips a passing soldier and tries to approach the chair as another soldier suddenly sits down in it. Enraged, Snake pulls out an assault rifle and dispatches all of the soldiers. Snake picks up a seat, sits down in it and then pulls off his face to reveal that he is Raiden wearing a Snake mask.

The scene then switches to a dark open space with Raiden approaching a single director's chair labeled "Main Character". Suddenly, a large figure wearing trifocal night vision goggles stealthily approaches the chair. Then the lights come back up as the figure is revealed to be the real Snake. Both characters then make a mad dash for the chair. As the two seemingly collide, a close-up is shown of a triumphant looking Snake sitting in the chair. The camera then pans out as it reveals both Snake and Raiden are sitting in the chair. Raiden tries to take down Snake, but proves to show insufficient CQC skill as Snake throws him into the darkness. Satisfied, Snake takes his rightful place in the chair and smokes a cigar. As Snake gets up to leave and turns off the lights, Raiden pops up from a secret hatch in the floor. A distinct "ding" sound can be heard as Raiden sits down in the chair.

[edit] Behind the ScenesIn Basashi, Naked Snake tried to kill The Boss's horse to eat it. In an unfortunate sense of irony, in Peace Walker, Big Boss does end up having to kill The Boss's horse, although for an entirely different reason as it was more out of euthanasia due to it having been severely wounded after it slipped off of the rocky border between Costa Rica and Nicaragua.